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Commentary
By Nicholas Regush
July 20
— Awesome. A new vaccine to blunt the
pleasurable effects of cocaine. Clinical tests are already under way. And
should it prevent the cocaine “high,” then the spotlight will hover over the
delicate issue of who gets the injection.
Only those thought likely to become cocaine
addicts? Every child? Every human on the face of the earth who might one day
come in contact with cocaine?
The cocaine vaccine competition includes an
arresting version being tested by a scientific team at the Scripps Institute
in California in La Jolla. The vaccine sets off the body’s immune system to
attack the cocaine molecule with antibodies.
These antibodies essentially blow up the molecule to
a size that prevents it from entering the brain. And therefore the cocaine
molecule will not trip dopamine, the body’s feel-good drug. Related cocaine
vaccines already are actually being tested in humans.
So much for the kick of cocaine. Unless, of course,
someone is into chain-snorting of the drug. That extreme form of behavior
could overpower the overall effects of a vaccine and buy a quick snap or two
of chemical paradise. Vaccines under development that target pleasure appear
to have limits. For now.
Medicalizing
Our Foibles
But let us be optimistic. The final product, a powerful, no-nonsense cocaine
vaccine might well set the pace for the unfolding New Medical Order, that
blossoming movement to medicalize every conceivable sort of human behavior.
Included in this pathologizing arena are actions
considered to be sinful and even menacing to society, such as snorting cocaine
and inhaling nicotine and marijuana. It could potentially expand to those
human foibles widely perceived to be more irritating than devastating,
including inappropriate, compulsive, public nose-picking and
knuckle-cracking.
Who, for example, could have predicted that doctors
would prescribe a drug (Zoloft, an antidepressant) to combat shyness? In the
fast-approaching medical era of “anything goes if you can find a smart way to
humor public vulnerability,” the galaxies of opportunity are there for the
taking. IPO enthusiasts, stay alert!
So why not a new medication or some ingenious
vaccine, say, to combat sneering? Too many people walk around sneering these
days. Face it, it is socially uncouth and suggests an undertow of
uncontrolled aggression.
The National Institutes of Health, which has socked
almost $5 million into cocaine vaccine research, could easily cough up a few
million dollars more to discover the gene or brain chemicals that promote
sneering and then finance clinical tests of appropriate treatment modalities.
Believe me, it will make for a much happier world.
Other
Target Vaccines?
Since we’re on the subject, here are a few more behaviors in no apparent
ranking that can be considered ripe for medicalization:
Talking with God (Godliness Syndrome).
Having sex more than five times a week (Getoff Disease).
Keeping one’s body in an obese state for more than one year (Naughty Body
Disease).
Saving $1 bills (Pre-Alzheimer’s Disease).
Coughing during concert performances. (Coughus Interruptus Condition).
I’m sure you can add to the list.
Lest we forget the point to all this, let it be
stated that anyone with a serious dysfunction that disrupts a healthy life,
such as a cocaine addiction, may need medical help. The type of vaccine being
tested might be of great benefit to those who can’t shake coke.
But also let us not forget that this is a culture
driven by the bottom line. There will be a hard push to inject a lot of
people, including kids, with such a vaccine. Money, not health
considerations, will likely rule the day.
And where do we draw the line on medicalizing human
behavior? Where the medical money wants us to. 
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Nicholas Regush produces medical features for
ABCNEWS. In his weekly column, published Thursdays, he looks at medical
trouble spots, heralds innovative achievements and analyzes health trends
that may greatly influence our lives. His latest book is The Virus Within.
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