But the caregiver of any child who has special needs has to learn to avoid certain issues such as exhaustion, panic attacks, depression, own health issues (because they put everyone else's needs first) and burn out.

I have had all of the above. And I have two children with ASD and one with ADHD. I have been a mom for 10 years now - and I love my kids dearly. However, they are a handful and exhausting and I have tried to learn to give myself time for myself.

It is easier for me now then it was 7 years ago -- because all my kids are in school full time. For those of you who have young children -- its even more difficult because they are around all the time which makes it more difficult to do things for yourself.

I think one of the hardest things to do for a Mom is to take care of herself. So much effort and time goes into the family -- often the caregiver is exhausted, depressed, overly anxious and doing ten million things at once -- we don't have time for ourselves.

And after years of running on fumes -- we finally run out of gas. That's when burn out occurs. The thing that all caregivers have to realize is that you need to be able to recognize the signs BEFORE the burn out occurs. I am still trying to get this part right in my life - I can see the signs -- but still manage to avoid them until its too late.

But I am getting better at it. Maybe one day I will get it right. LOLI suffered from burnout and deep depression and anxiety a few months ago. Some of the things I am doing now are working to get me back on track and some of the things I am doing are still making me overwhelmed. Its all a balancing act and it takes practice to get it right. I am still practicing LOL.I try to relax by going on the computer, reading books and I am trying to get back into walking. (It hasn't happened yet)I am trying to keep my weight off -- something I did for myself over 3 years ago (losing 60 lbs) and that is something I am proud of. I go talk to a DR once a week to vent all my frustrations and that helps immensely. I had stopped doing that for almost a year - after the past few months I had - I decided to go back and it has helped a lot.

Getting check ups are important - something I haven't done but should be doing. Keeping yourself healthy is very important. I did start taking vitamins and I am trying to eat healthier.

And rest -- we all need to rest. The sleep deprivation most of us get is what starts the downward cycle and finishes us off when we go into burn out mode. I didn't sleep for so long a few months back - I just couldn't relax and couldn't sleep. My mind was Constantly in motion worrying and plotting and trying to figure out how to deal with all those issues - I couldn't think straight. And it made me feel like I was going insane and couldn't deal with anything. And that was scary. I was in full Burn out mode.

So you must take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of your family. That statement bothers me because "You should take care of yourself first because you are IMPORTANT As a PERSON first - then as caregiver, spouse, friend etc. If you always put yourself last -- you may make it to martyr status someday but you are going to be a Burned out Martyr. LOL.

And finding something I really enjoy doing -- which is writing about my experiences with my children and ASD and running the NJ support group and making new friends with other parents with children on the spectrum and giving them a friend when they need it the most. That's what I enjoy doing.I have gotten gift certificates for massages for birthdays and other holidays - That's all I really want and I have told my family that. Now I just need to go use them. Going away with my husband and NO children was really nice -- it was so relaxing and nice to be able to be alone with him. That did me a world of good. And it did US a world of good as a couple -- being alone together with No STRESSORS (AKA the children, school work, work for DH, etc.)Going away alone to see my friends in Canada was one of the biggest relaxing moments of my life. It was the first time I ever went anywhere alone since I have been married. All I did was sleep, eat and hang out with my buddies from the BBB Board. IT was great. Two days to myself -- and I ordered room service and watched cable movies LOL. What I realized is that it is OK to need a break.

And to take one.

Its OK to go see my dad in Florida once in a while alone and drink pina coladas and lay out in the sun lol. And its OK to take off once in a while to go to a conference in Canada (next time I might actually go to the actual conference lol) And its OK to want to be alone. Sometimes the Caregivers get OVERSTIMULATED TOO!!!!

We deserve breaks whether it is just to take a nap or getting away. We work our tails off day and night trying to do what is best for our children. And we do a damn good job. I am still working on getting to the point of doing things for me. (I have the traveling part down to an art) I can rest when I need to because the kids are in school. I still need to take better care of myself - like going to the DR - but hey we can't do everything right all at once lol.

One day the kids will be grown up and what will we have to show for it???? Will we look 20 yrs older and be half dead because we gave every last ounce of energy to our family and nothing to us???? Or will we be healthy and hopefully content with the way our lives have gone -- nobody knows the answer to that but if we help ourselves now we have a better chance on living a happier life in the future. And our children would want us to have that.